Learning - Page 1 - August 27th, 2015, 4:12 pm
Average rating: 4.00
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[Posted by ToxicBreeze on August 27th, 2015, 4:12 pm]

I'm still working on a buffer but I felt like I should upload at least the first two pages. So here's the first. I'll post the second later this evening.
This page was such a pain to draw. Mostly for that bottom panel. I'm not used to drawing such crowded images but that's part of the reason I'm doing this comic. To push myself into doing things I don't normally do!



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Oh Come On... [Posted by firekirby135 on August 27th, 2015, 9:02 pm]

First page of the comic and you're starting with a History Class? BOOORING! :P

In all seriousness though, you're off to a good start. I love your style, and it translates to comics perfectly. Great job showing the student's character traits, by the way. They haven't said a single word, yet I can already tell the bookworm apart from the class clown and the goth apart from the prima donna from their posture and attire alone. Well done.

There is one thing in particular that I think need be brought up, that being the poster on the cork-board. It just looks... SO out of place, what with everything having an outline except for it. Plus, the pixilation as well as the skew being off makes it an obvious photoshop. I would suggest refraining from photoshopping in assets, or if you really want/need to to, working a bit more on masking it to the rest of the comic. (perhaps tracing them rather than simply pasting them in would help them look less out of place? just a thought)
Apart from that, the dialogue bubbles seem to take up more real-estate than they really need to, so if you want more room to add detail in the future, making them a bit smaller won't sacrifice readability much, if at all.

Overall, very strong start, and I can't wait to see where you take this! ;)



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[Posted by ToxicBreeze on August 27th, 2015, 9:52 pm]

@firekirby135: ITS HIGH SCHOOL! ITS ALL BORING! //brick'd

Oh my gosh firekirby you always have such amazing things to say. <3

I appreciate that you analyze my work so thoroughly and go into detail of what makes it good and things that need work.

The poster itself was made by my good friend, Dark. I asked him to make it as a sort of gag. It doesn't fit because he drew it in MS Paint and I simply filled it in with some greys so that it wasn't just an outline. I did try to trace it but it took away from it somehow. I love the way he draws goofy faces and chars and he's a huge inspiration to me. He draws comics all the time and they're such a blast to read. I want to do it too and its thanks to him that I'm stepping up and doing this comic. I wanted a doofy poster in the room, I asked him for something quick and he said "Eh what the heck." and gave me that XD

I had a feeling the speech bubbles were kinda big but I had a lot of empty space to fill and I kinda wanted the focus to be on particular things in those first panels. I probably could've done it better though, yes. I will keep that in mind with future pages though and try to not use bubbles to fill in the empty space. It's good to know the pages fit well on the site though and that I chose a good sized canvas. It looks good on a larger desktop screen and an average sized laptop screen.

my gosh I wrote you a book. I'm sorry!! OTL
Thank you so much though for your input ;w; I'm always happy to hear what you have to say and I'll keep it in mind to help the newer pages to be better!



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[Posted by firekirby135 on August 27th, 2015, 10:48 pm]

@ToxicBreeze: Amen to that! -shot-

Anyways, yeah, I've known of Dark ever since you drew a page for Dark & Breeze on your DA, and have actually been in touch with him since, helping to proofread and correct the writing for his TPP Tumblr as well as the occasional Dark & Breeze on his DA. Which remids me, I kinda have a backlog on those, since I was away for a month. Whoops! XD

And yeah, while the bubbles here are a bit large, that doesn't mean that's the wrong way to do it. Many good Webcomic artists know how to manipulate text bubbles to better suit the tone of the text. Large ones that press against the borders to signify loud, obnoxious monologues, (which is kinda what the ones in this page give off) spiky ones to accentuate yelling, extremely small ones to signify mumbling/muttering, the list goes on. Hell, I've even seen them used as censors in a nude scene once. So all in all, experiment! Have fun with it! With a dialogue-heavy web-comic, you have plenty of time to refine your style. ;)

And please, a book? Trust me, you're fine, that's NOTHING compared to what I've written in the past. -shot- (again)



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[Posted by ToxicBreeze on August 27th, 2015, 11:08 pm]

@firekirby135: Yeah he mentioned you before saying you were helping him out with TPP stuff XD That's super sweet of you. x3 Aw no worries! I'm sure he doesn't mind. XD

Yeah, Mr. Roy can be loud when he's teaching. If he's not, the kids would drift off to sleep more easily. lol
LOL The nude one got me X'D It's awesome how clever ppl can get with something as simple as speech bubbles. I'll be sure to try and think of them more as part of the comic than just showing what's being said :3 That's good advice, dude!

Something I'm used to cuz Dark writes me books all the time when he goes full nerd mode -shot-


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